Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
