so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
