I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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