Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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