You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
