Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
