i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
