fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
