im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
