You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
