tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
