STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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