shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
