just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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