I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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