SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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