did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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