Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
