You made me cry and you don't even care
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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