The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
