YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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