I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
