i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
