Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
