Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
