I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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