just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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