He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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