Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
