At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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