I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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