i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
