NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
