I puked a lego.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
