My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
