Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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