I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
COCAINE IS GR8
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize