I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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