im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ttyl tear gas
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
