wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just want nice things and good sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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