Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
