well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
