woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She told me I should be a condom model.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Couch. On fire.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
