On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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