why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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