do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
