Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
