I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
