Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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