My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
