One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
