I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
