so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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