I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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