She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
