her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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