So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she told me i tasted like america
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
