We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just forgot I was standing up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
