Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize