the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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