When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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