Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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