he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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