I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
