Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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