I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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