You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
