It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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