You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
