I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
