After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
