i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
