yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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